Dear Dr. Patty Ann,
My husband and I are newlyweds and we love each other very much. There is just one problem we can’t resolve and we agreed to let you solve it for us. My best friend and I talk on the phone and text every single day – we have been friends since kindergarten and have been through all the ups and downs of life together, supporting each other every step of the way. It drives my husband insane when I tell my girlfriend about a fight or problem we are having. He says our marriage problems are none of her business and that I shouldn’t be telling anyone what goes on between us. This is really confusing to me. I love them both dearly and I don’t want to have to choose between the two of them Our question to you is: “Is it okay for me to tell my girlfriend about our marital fights or should those fights just stay between us?”
-Confused in Colorado
Dear Confused in Colorado,
First of all, let me clear up some confusion here. Unless you left some information out, I don’t hear your husband telling you – you have to choose between him and your girlfriend. It sounds like his issue with your girlfriend is telling her about your fights – not that you shouldn’t be friends with her. Guys usually are uncomfortable when they think their wife’s friends know all about their marital issues so my suggestion is for you to carefully decide on what you tell your girlfriend about your marital issues and then, unless specifically asked, there is not need to tell your husband what you shared with your girlfriend. I am not saying you should lie to your husband but I am saying don’t volunteer any information he is not asking for. Please do not feel like you need to choose between your husband and your girlfriend. They both hold a special yet different place in your heart and reassure your husband your girlfriend will never replace him. Hope this helps!
Dr. Patty Ann
Relationship Advice Expert
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August 18, 2011
Marriage