Dear Dr. Patty Ann,
I am a middle-age man and who rented an apartment next door to a lovely woman named Joan. Over the years we developed a strictly plutonic relationship and I consider her to be one of my closest friends. Recently Joan married and I feel as if she no longer wants to be maintaining our friendship on the level it used to be. We maintain contact electronically, thru email, testing, etc., but she never seems to want to get together in person anymore. I know her husband and he appears to be a great guy, and I was hoping the three of us could develop a close relationship. I feel hurt by her refusal to get together anymore. Am I over-reacting? What should I do?
- Just Friends in Florida
Dear Just Friends in Florida,
You sound as if you and Joan have been good friends over the years; however, with her new status as “wife” she might not be able to give your friendship the time she used to have in the past. My suggestion is to continue to maintain this friendship thru email and other means of communication. When Joan has settled into her new life perhaps she will have time, once again, for doing things with you again, with her husband. If you value her friendship, and it sounds as if you do, don’t shoot yourself in the foot by ending the friendship just because Joan cannot be as available to you as you would like. My guess is she and her husband will be able to find time to continue your relationship in the future.
Dr. Patty Ann
Relationship Advice Expert
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October 19, 2011
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